Le dumb bitch mode

I know I make my own life harder because I'm a dumb bitch that can't see a challenge without taking it on, sometimes without even considering if this is how things are done.

You have no idea the amount of times the feedback I got from something was "You mean you did it from scratch?" or "People usually do this with a friend." or "I meant a bit less, but this is good."

(If you noticed all of those were examples of lousy feedback, yes, I'm plagued with not-feedback my whole life. Not even my art school teachers were into telling me where I should do better. It seems people decide I'm smart enough to tell even if they don't say, which is how other people set themselves up for failure.
When you add this to the fact that I have very little context awareness, you can tell why I have strained relationships with colleagues)

Dumb bitch mode showed itself this week when I decided I wanted to add "songfic dimension" to this one chapter, but also decided I should come up with lyrics instead of using modern songs, because this is a fantasy setting. When I say it like this it sounds almost sane. Let me rephrase:
I decided to write small bits of poetry and song lyrics so I could quote them throughout a single chapter, because I think it fits with the setting.

Of course I could change my mind and scrap the idea, but I'm a dumb bitch and I'm both attached to the idea and interested in the challenge.