Writing kissing scenes

Everyone has their own preferences about romantic scenes, so I don't go around assuming the scene I'm writing will work for everyone. The kiss has to work for the scene, has to fit the characters and their arc, their reactions and feelings have to be consistent with their inner narrative so far.

All very good ideas, except I have a terrible time trying to remember how it feels to be kissed, so I get stumped on "but how does that feels, exactly?".

This sounds pathetic, I know, kinda like those old TFWNG memes. But the thing is: I have difficulty putting words to most things that relate to tactile senses. Probably something to do with my relatively high pain threshold or ND brain or both.

In any case, the result is that I get stumped trying to describe how it feels to be kissed by someone in that specific situation, going through memories and pulling my hair while I try to remember. And there are so many types of kisses.

The kiss from a person that adores you and is just so happy you're there, by their side. The passionate kiss from someone that really wants you. The curious kiss from one that never thought about kissing you before but is game. The nervous kiss from the person that thought a lot about this and can't really believe this is happening. The smug kiss from the person that was just waiting for you to take the shot, certain that it would eventually happen. The stolen kiss. The very last goodbye kiss. The very first good morning kiss.

I just need the words *grabby hands*

Of masks and dances - Chapter 13: Dream Logic

Of masks and dances - chapter 12 - Dream logic

In which Kaeya is having a bad day and it is Not Improved by monsters, a Harbinger and hallucinogens.

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I know I posted this sunday and it's wednesday, but in my defense time does not exists and the calendar is a social construct created to facilitate trade.

This is the chapter in which I fucked myself over by:

1. having an outline that used concepts that happened to show up in an actual in-game event after I had decided on them. It was Shadows Amid Snowstorms, but you could guess from my use of a shape-shifter. No, I did not anticipate fakebedo, I merely wrote an arc in which Kaeya, Albedo, Tartaglia and Zhongli had to cooperate in Dragonspine while having a shape-shifter infiltrate them. There was a The Thing aspect to it. AND I HAD TO SCRAP IT
2. thinking that going for a small Albedo POV, as a treat, would be something I'd have the self-control not to abuse. I should know myself better. I also should have considered that Albedo has a lovely voice as a character, and would be this smooth to write. Thinking in images, patterns and colors is the thing I was actually trained for and it's good to use it for something. I also like Sucrose a whole bunch more now that I have headcanons about her
3. writing a bunch of scenes that I scrapped completely. Again. If you think my chapters are long, or if you wonder how I manage to write that many words, well my only answers are that I generally scrap about 5k words from any one chapter and that even the ones that get to the post are not exactly the best words. They're the words I managed. This is how you get a high wordcount.

Honest I say all that but I love writing this fic. It is all over the place and has about as much dropped ideas as your regular chinese webnovel (I say this with much love, there is nothing I like more than a story with 100 ideas a minute), but I'm having so much fun.

All my love to people that plan and write something coherent, I read those fics with awe, but I'm not quite capable of the same feat
And I'm just fine with it.